iNcOgniTa nO mOrE

* Questions without answers:

            -does Jennifer Love Hewitt?

            -where did Vincent Van Gogh? Did Rolito Go with him?

            -why is Norman Black and Redford White? Why is Charlie Brown?

            -where did Sandara Park?

            -is Chow Yun Fat?

            -What did Henry Sy?

            -is Lucio Tan?

            -When will Orlando Bloom?

            -whom did Sharon Stone?

            -if the sky is high, is Ricky Lo?

            -how did the Cardinal Sin?

            -does anyone knows Victoria’s Secret?

            -do you know the answer? I’m sure Wilma Doesn’t!

* INRITS YOUR BOCABULARY by Manny Pacquiao:

TACTICS – tunog ng orasan

NO PEER – commercial nya

MOTOR KID – pag-ikot nya sa maynila

CHECK IN – manok sa McDo

CORRUPT – pagpikit ng mata

WIT – timbang

DUET – gawin mo

NOODLE – sagot kay kris sa deal or no deal

QUOTES – tawag nya kay Freddie Roach

* Anong sinabi ni thermometer kay graduated cylinder?

            -e ano naman kung grumaduate ka…

            may degree ka ba?

* MENTAL HOSPITAL VOICE PROMPT

            “Hello and welcome to the Mental Hotline…

            -if you are Obsessive-Compulsive, press 1 repeatedly

            -if you are Co-Dependent, please ask me to press 2 for you

            -if you have Multiple Personalities, Press 3, 4, 5 and 6

            -if you are Paranoid, We know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace you call.

            -if you are Delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship

            -if you are Schizophrenic, listen closely and a small voice will tell what number to press

…thank you for your call”.

THINGS YOU DON’T Want to Hear during YOUR OWN Operation:

-asan yung gunting na bago? Bakit may kalawang ‘to?

-10ml? may naka survive na ba dyan?! Sabi ko 5ml lang!

-doc, ubos na po pala yung anestisya

-kanina pa bukas yung tiyan, asan yung pantahi?

-SUNOG! SUNOG! LABAS NA KAYONG LAHAT!!!

* MAHAL’s DICTIONARY:

BATTLE – iminamahid ta tinapay (nyam!)

CHEW – nabibili sa ET EM chewmart

LECHON – madalat matutunan pag nagtatamali ang itang perton

MATTER – atawa ni patter

THIRTY – tanta ni clitina adilera (wana det thirty)

MOUTH – mortal na taaway ng kat

* Multo: Awooooooo!

Bata: huhuhuhuhu..wag po! Wag po!

Multo: okay sorry…

* Sa elevator, may kasakay akong kano. Pababa kami ng ground floor. Huminto kamisa 4^th floor at pag bukas, may pinoy, tinanong ako:

BABABA BA?

Sinagot ko:

BABABA

Pumasok yung pinoy. Pagsara ng elevator, the American curiously asked:

“Did you guys just have a conversation?”

* To win the heart of a nurse..

   First…

   You

   must

   be…

   PATIENT.